Long before I picked up a camera, I was a writer. Words helped channel the frenzied feelings of my teenage years. They kept me company at night. Soothed my spirit. My bedroom is piled high with old journals, mostly from my pre-mother days when I’d indulge in hours of self care before attempting work. An otherworldly life now.
I took the habit more seriously after discovering Julia Cameron’s book the artist way’. There she introduces the concept of morning pages, a device to brain dump all your thoughts and worries onto pages before starting your day. As someone who has struggled with mental health since pre-adulthood I found it very helpful in taming my monkey brain. All the worrying thoughts in my head would flow out, often at an incredible rate. Othertimes I would struggle to find any words to shed but I realised over time that even repeating the same phrase was still therapeutic.
I found those early days of fresh motherhood the hardest as I suddenly found myself in a position where I was unable to write whenever I desired. Trapped for hours cradling a colicky baby, words rattling around in my head, but unable to use a pen or journal. My phone suddenly became my trusty companion, the note app a new friend. My writing’s become more erratic, and often incoherent, as I wrote words and short phrases in a sleepy haze in the dead of night.
I found that I was no longer a snob about where my words were placed, grateful that they just had somewhere to go. I knew the importance of getting them out, (somewhere, anywhere) before they built up and manifested in peculiar ways.
Though my writings are much shorter and less frequent these days, I still greet them as an old friend. The kind you grew up closely with but no longer feel the need to keep in constant contact with. You know they will always be there for you when needed. I know my ability to write/do all the things will increase as my children grow, so am not bitter. For now, I savour all the little moments I find for my words amongst the haze of early motherhood. When there’s a will, there’s a way, and more than one method to puts words to a page.
Is writing part of your daily practice?
